Creating boundaries to avoid energy depletion (or complete mental breakdown)

panda.jpgAs a newly notified empathic person, the last few months I’ve been working on acknowledging this big part of myself – and with the acknowledgement has come more conscious management.

The more I’ve become aware, the more it’s taken on a life of it’s own – inevitably allowing for my energy levels to reach an all time low, leaving me feeling like a shell of who I actually am. Spiritual violation at its finest.

It’s got absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but myself. Truth is, I haven’t taken the time to learn how to spiritually protect myself and my sensitivities – it’s all well and good to have the best intentions, direction, drive, healing abilities, wisdom, clarity and compassion – but I’ve learnt today that these things are no good if you have no energy to drive them properly.

I’ve simply taken on so many tasks, projects, ideas, thoughts and business opportunities whilst also inviting many people into my personal ‘zone’ online that I’ve completely blurred the lines of what is me and what is not me.

Not only do I have all these things going on externally, but I’ve also got a million other emotions and noise from others swirling around internally, too.

Again, I know a lot of my friends, readers and fellow fifth element lifers are thinking ‘shit, is she talking about me?!’ – but no babe, it’s honestly not you, it’s me. It’s me because I never set myself clear boundaries. I never asked myself ‘do you really need to do this now’ or ‘is this worth your energy?’ Or ‘do you have enough to give right now?’ – I never took the time to check in with myself and just say, well ya know what? Maybe you don’t need to nominate yourself for that task/job/idea/request – maybe instead of saying ‘yes’ and getting caught up in the emotion of it all, you need to stop and check in with the mother ship BEFORE you act. Basically, I need to learn the art of saying no.

Being a ‘yes’ woman is all I know. I love it, I honestly do. It brings me so much joy when someone asks me for guidance/advice/help/healing – I know this is my purpose so therefore it is ALWAYS welcome and ALWAYS ok for anyone to associate me with these things. What isn’t ok is that I kept emptying my tank to fill up others, but never allowed it to be filled up again. I feel like over the last few months I’ve just been running on the smell of an oily rag and now I’ve pulled over on the side of the road, 5km from the nearest petrol station with no cash, no battery on my phone and a toddler who’s already trying to Houdini his way out of the car seat straps. I’ve just pulled up short and left myself in a bit of a pickle with a long walk ahead.

Funnily enough, today when I was feeling very overwhelmed emotionally, I noticed a blog post from Renee Longworth titled “how to give and not burn out” and it stopped me in my tracks. You know how much I love a good sign from the universe, and this was no exception. Renee is so amazing at what she does and after reading this post I felt like she had written it just for me. Her spirit knew my spirit was suffering, and this gift was just what I needed to see the light and pull me back out of that dark place. (Thank you Renee, your life force helped me reacquaint with mine).

So after that symphony of violins, I’ve decided to take some action and already started energetically implementing them. I want to share them with you so that next time you feel like you’ve run out of gas, you can remember how crazy ol’ Sarah saved herself from complete spiritual disempowerment and possible mental breakdown.

1. Claiming back my space. I’ve made some clearer boundaries for myself, especially in the social media world. I’ve decided to do the next best thing to completely deleting Facebook and begun reducing my friend hoarding. This also includes private groups (I literally think I got to about 30 groups before I realised what I had done), page likes (2000 of the bastards) and friends I’ve networked with through various groups and things. Whilst I have nothing against any of these things or these amazing people (they have actually been quite helpful since I have a huge online presence and have only a handful of friends in the flesh where I live) but my problem is I just had too many, way too much of one thing and not enough of another. When my tank was getting low, I just kept filling the void with more of the same thing that was depleting it. Giving and giving and giving and not taking enough to balance it back out. Now I’m working on having a beautiful balance of private/personal space and amazing/interactive kindred spirit style space, here on my website and on my business social media platforms. Having a refuge from ‘what I do’ will help me to just disengage and retreat when I need to.

and you know your always going to be one of my unicorn sisters, right?

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2. Follow Renee’s advice in the link I shared above and imagining your life force above you that feeds you your energy, and when giving in anyway to another you simply remember they have their OWN energy and remind them of this too, basically just reaffirming to them that they control their own destiny and have the ability to help themselves, too.

3. As with above, I find that literally getting out the in the sunshine helps revitalise you spiritually. Especially as the feminine lunar energy at the moment is so strong, balancing it out with the masculine solar energy too can help you to build up your energy levels again. Not to mention getting reconnected with the elements outside can help you to find your sense of self and grounding too.

4. Learn to say ‘no’. It is not that you are a horrible person and you think your time/money/guidance is superior – it’s more about you checking in with yourself first and asking if you really need to take it that on at this time. Here is a video post from Denise Duffield-Thomas who was the same as me and realised how she was doing herself an injustice by being a constant “yes” person.  I also trust now that by honouring what I want to actually do, will be sending out the right message to the universe to not keep attracting the same type of energies I have exposed myself to, and will help me to attract the right YES for me after gaining back that time I spent doing something I didn’t want to.

5. Practice self love and care. This goes hand in hand with the saying no thing, but it’s also about doing things for yourself as much as you help others. I did this just today when I was at the height of my spiritual low and treated myself to a coffee date and window shopping with my little boy. I walked away from finishing my projects, my phone, my blog post and just gifted myself with that time because it’s what I really needed.

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As usual, I’ve waffled on more than I should so thank you for making it to the end of this post!

I want to just say thanks to you for always being so supportive of me, and I hope that if you have experienced first hand ‘boundary setting’ with me this week that it’s not that I don’t love you, it’s just that I love me more and the only person who is going to get me out of this place right now is moi!

Love, light & boundaries

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6 thoughts on “Creating boundaries to avoid energy depletion (or complete mental breakdown)

  1. Nadine OMINSKI

    love you woman! <3 great post xxxxxx
    LOVE THE UNICORN painting you did amazing! they keep coming into my awarenesss..a reminder to stay in awe and innocence….seeing the world through enchantment ..
    xxxxx

    Reply
  2. Keli

    Awesome share! Love your honesty, love it when others let their truth shine, it liberates yourself and others ❤️

    Reply
  3. niki cotton

    Last replying ramble from me I promise! I have been taking lessons in meditation to try to focus and also shut down to the excess noise of the world. When my life hit rock bottom last year I had so many unanswered questions I thought I might explode. This year is all about the answers (my husband thinks I’ve completely lost the plot but actually I think i am just wresting back control of everything). The last 5 years have been cataclysmic in so many ways but the biggest events where we had no control was my amazing Mum getting breast cancer for the second time (recovered thankfully) the family business stared going down the tubes and we couldnt pull it back then my beautiful Dad was diagnosed with Motor neurone, my mums rock, they had a marriage built on true love, yes there where hard times but they got through them all together, he died new years day 2013 at 2am. Other shit happened as it does and your left thinking, honestly?, really?, more?????! Universe, give us just a tiny weeny break hey???! So this year I started to think get back the positivity & optimism that i your true nature, start wishing on stars again, I made a good times jar, every day I fill it with a note of something positive, I am learning to say no…. (Not easy when I want to make the world a better place!) I have cleared the decks of toxic people and I have pared my work down to the elements that I adore and that I can feel work together. Its been a tough few months but so uplifting, I feel light of soul. I am like one of those born again people (Bloody annoying frankly!) where I want everyone to be as true to themselves as they can, to take stock, to see the light even in shitty dark times, to look to the horizon and beyond and most importantly to clear the decks. Its such a tough thing to do but if it doesnt work and doesnt sit comfortably pop it in a hessian bag, tie the top, stick it in a little rowing boat and push it out in to the river to be swept out to sea (this little visualization came to me whilst meditating and people who had been clouding me and bring me down in life where breaking into my quite time, I sent them down the river and have been at peace since. so very weird). Sorry to peck your head with all that but I think what you are feeling is an alignement of the heavens, its out there and your feeling it. Its time to rest back control. Keep seeing the light you lovely lady xxx

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