Category Archives: SELF CARE

5 ways to cleanse with a full moon

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Of late I have found myself awaken more to my feminine energy; thus now feeling a deeper appreciation for the moon and its cycle. It is such a fascinating topic and one that has really reconnected me with myself and my own habitual rhythms in life as a woman and a mother.

It is often evident that at times of the full moon that we, particularly women, do tend to feel differently – whether we are conscious of it or not. We have all heard the phrase ‘raving mad lunatic’ – and well, that’s because the word lunatic really means to be momentarily crazed by the moon. I’ve felt the urge to learn how to balance this more and help me to work with the moon cycles to help me find more flow and rhythm in my life, and to help manage hormonal impulses and emotional surges.

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Magic Money Month – DIY style!

DAY31MMM.jpgHello favourites!

I’ve had a fair few requests and comments from some amazing peeps who are going to be taking on the ‘Magic money in May’ concept in their own time after seeing how effective it was for me (refer to my last post).

It makes me all warm and fuzzy inside to read how others have manifested some cool shiz into their lives, or want to do so after being inspired by the magic we spun together on my Facebook page throughout May.

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How spending magic money in May manifested me REAL abundance

day3.jpgIf your a regular on my Facebook page you will have noticed throughout the month of May that I set myself a challenge to spend a magic (virtual) amount of money each day on something that matched back to set daily themes.

The idea was to shift my money mindset from scarcity to abundance – instead of focusing my energy on how we would pay the bills on one income, how I would continue to expand my business, pay childcare fees and continue to work towards my dream, without resorting to me effectively selling my soul to a job at the new local Bunnings. Yep, that was a legit option my partner suggested to me when we realised we could no longer sustain our lifestyle on his income alone (no offence to Bunnings employees, it’s just not my bag, baby).

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Creating boundaries to avoid energy depletion (or complete mental breakdown)

panda.jpgAs a newly notified empathic person, the last few months I’ve been working on acknowledging this big part of myself – and with the acknowledgement has come more conscious management.

The more I’ve become aware, the more it’s taken on a life of it’s own – inevitably allowing for my energy levels to reach an all time low, leaving me feeling like a shell of who I actually am. Spiritual violation at its finest.

It’s got absolutely nothing to do with anyone else but myself. Truth is, I haven’t taken the time to learn how to spiritually protect myself and my sensitivities – it’s all well and good to have the best intentions, direction, drive, healing abilities, wisdom, clarity and compassion – but I’ve learnt today that these things are no good if you have no energy to drive them properly.

I’ve simply taken on so many tasks, projects, ideas, thoughts and business opportunities whilst also inviting many people into my personal ‘zone’ online that I’ve completely blurred the lines of what is me and what is not me.

Not only do I have all these things going on externally, but I’ve also got a million other emotions and noise from others swirling around internally, too.

Again, I know a lot of my friends, readers and fellow fifth element lifers are thinking ‘shit, is she talking about me?!’ – but no babe, it’s honestly not you, it’s me. It’s me because I never set myself clear boundaries. I never asked myself ‘do you really need to do this now’ or ‘is this worth your energy?’ Or ‘do you have enough to give right now?’ – I never took the time to check in with myself and just say, well ya know what? Maybe you don’t need to nominate yourself for that task/job/idea/request – maybe instead of saying ‘yes’ and getting caught up in the emotion of it all, you need to stop and check in with the mother ship BEFORE you act. Basically, I need to learn the art of saying no.

Being a ‘yes’ woman is all I know. I love it, I honestly do. It brings me so much joy when someone asks me for guidance/advice/help/healing – I know this is my purpose so therefore it is ALWAYS welcome and ALWAYS ok for anyone to associate me with these things. What isn’t ok is that I kept emptying my tank to fill up others, but never allowed it to be filled up again. I feel like over the last few months I’ve just been running on the smell of an oily rag and now I’ve pulled over on the side of the road, 5km from the nearest petrol station with no cash, no battery on my phone and a toddler who’s already trying to Houdini his way out of the car seat straps. I’ve just pulled up short and left myself in a bit of a pickle with a long walk ahead.

Funnily enough, today when I was feeling very overwhelmed emotionally, I noticed a blog post from Renee Longworth titled “how to give and not burn out” and it stopped me in my tracks. You know how much I love a good sign from the universe, and this was no exception. Renee is so amazing at what she does and after reading this post I felt like she had written it just for me. Her spirit knew my spirit was suffering, and this gift was just what I needed to see the light and pull me back out of that dark place. (Thank you Renee, your life force helped me reacquaint with mine).

So after that symphony of violins, I’ve decided to take some action and already started energetically implementing them. I want to share them with you so that next time you feel like you’ve run out of gas, you can remember how crazy ol’ Sarah saved herself from complete spiritual disempowerment and possible mental breakdown.

1. Claiming back my space. I’ve made some clearer boundaries for myself, especially in the social media world. I’ve decided to do the next best thing to completely deleting Facebook and begun reducing my friend hoarding. This also includes private groups (I literally think I got to about 30 groups before I realised what I had done), page likes (2000 of the bastards) and friends I’ve networked with through various groups and things. Whilst I have nothing against any of these things or these amazing people (they have actually been quite helpful since I have a huge online presence and have only a handful of friends in the flesh where I live) but my problem is I just had too many, way too much of one thing and not enough of another. When my tank was getting low, I just kept filling the void with more of the same thing that was depleting it. Giving and giving and giving and not taking enough to balance it back out. Now I’m working on having a beautiful balance of private/personal space and amazing/interactive kindred spirit style space, here on my website and on my business social media platforms. Having a refuge from ‘what I do’ will help me to just disengage and retreat when I need to.

and you know your always going to be one of my unicorn sisters, right?

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2. Follow Renee’s advice in the link I shared above and imagining your life force above you that feeds you your energy, and when giving in anyway to another you simply remember they have their OWN energy and remind them of this too, basically just reaffirming to them that they control their own destiny and have the ability to help themselves, too.

3. As with above, I find that literally getting out the in the sunshine helps revitalise you spiritually. Especially as the feminine lunar energy at the moment is so strong, balancing it out with the masculine solar energy too can help you to build up your energy levels again. Not to mention getting reconnected with the elements outside can help you to find your sense of self and grounding too.

4. Learn to say ‘no’. It is not that you are a horrible person and you think your time/money/guidance is superior – it’s more about you checking in with yourself first and asking if you really need to take it that on at this time. Here is a video post from Denise Duffield-Thomas who was the same as me and realised how she was doing herself an injustice by being a constant “yes” person.  I also trust now that by honouring what I want to actually do, will be sending out the right message to the universe to not keep attracting the same type of energies I have exposed myself to, and will help me to attract the right YES for me after gaining back that time I spent doing something I didn’t want to.

5. Practice self love and care. This goes hand in hand with the saying no thing, but it’s also about doing things for yourself as much as you help others. I did this just today when I was at the height of my spiritual low and treated myself to a coffee date and window shopping with my little boy. I walked away from finishing my projects, my phone, my blog post and just gifted myself with that time because it’s what I really needed.

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As usual, I’ve waffled on more than I should so thank you for making it to the end of this post!

I want to just say thanks to you for always being so supportive of me, and I hope that if you have experienced first hand ‘boundary setting’ with me this week that it’s not that I don’t love you, it’s just that I love me more and the only person who is going to get me out of this place right now is moi!

Love, light & boundaries

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the spirit diet

In past posts I have shared with you about my journey with regards to feeling ‘reborn’ again after the birth of my beautiful son, late 2012. A chance to be present; to stop working for ‘the man’ and to spend that time with myself and get to know myself again, as a mum, as a new woman.

Before falling pregnant, I was what I liked to call a “fat skinny person”. I didn’t consider myself overweight, but I did feel like I was meant to be thinner; as in, I wasn’t comfortable in my own skin and felt like I wasn’t my true size/weight/shape. In high school, I was always quite thin (although, I always said I was ‘fat’ as teen girls unfortunately do) but ate a really bad diet; so I would never have called myself healthy back then. I’ve always been curvy, busty and freakily. I used to hate that about myself, but those things don’t even make me blink these days.

Throughout last year and to date – I’ve dropped around 15kg since pre-pregnancy. I would never have thought I had that much excess weight to drop, nor that it was possible the way it has happened for me. I didn’t even consciously say I wanted to lose that amount of weight, just to simply drop a few so I felt more ‘me’.

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Over the weekend I caught up with family and friends who hadn’t seen me in a while and a reoccurring comment was on my weight. “where’s the rest of you?” “what have you been doing?” “your so skinny!” – I honestly didn’t know how to respond because I guess I live in my own little bubble and didn’t realise how much I had changed, and (here’s where it might annoy you) I hadn’t really done anything drastic to drop it – so I didn’t feel proud or wasn’t looking for the praise for my efforts; I even felt a bit guilty?! I fumbled through my responses, grasping at anything to say as my big ‘secret’.

I mean, I still eat bread, I still eat pasta, I still get hot chips when I feel like them and my kryptonite at the moment is a soy very vanilla chiller from Gloria Jeans. Yes, I know these things don’t fit into the ‘optimal health’ category; but I do also eat a vegetarian, near vegan diet – with plenty of fresh organic produce, smoothies, real juices and I try and cook everything myself from scratch to have better control of things like preservatives and over processed crap. I feel like I’m definitely much more healthy with my diet than I once was, and I know I still have a way to go; but I am enjoying the process, I will not give up anything I feel I need for the *right* reasons. I also don’t do enough exercise; however do still breastfeed which is equivalent to some cardio energy burning stuff, and I do try and walk or do yoga a few times a week. But that’s it. No busting my arse at bootcamps, no making myself run when I would rather sleep. I have literally just honoured the things I enjoy doing and eating. That’s it.

So, my REAL response to everyone is this hypothesis I have come up with. It’s probably not a medically proven thing, it may or may not really exist, but in my world – its the only thing that makes sense. Yes there are loads of contributing factors; but this is the only one true thing that brings it altogether for me.

I’ve been on the spirit diet.

The Spirit Diet-

It’s really quite hard to explain, but I’m going to just rattle off my thoughts on it all. You see, by becoming more consciously aware of the things I put into my body, the things I do to my body, and also of what I actually love to do on a day to day basis, I feel like my physical body has simply just fallen into line with that. Like my mind/body/spirit is all in the same place, working together in harmony, finally.

I have no physical ailments that I’m aware of, I’m able to thrive on less sleep (even though sleep is very important to me, and I always honour that when I’m tired) and I don’t have any outrageous mood swings, or binge eating habits like I used to. I don’t crave things nearly as much as I used to – so now I can stop at one biscuit instead of 10. It just doesn’t interest me, it doesn’t “fill” me the way it used to. I was unfulfilled spiritually, so I compensated by indulging the in the wrong things.

The fact that I’m also back to my high school weight has got me thinking. What’s the common theme between then and now? spiritual fulfilment. In high school; I enjoyed almost every day. I was ALWAYS creating something – I would draw costumes for dances in class, I would go home and paint shirts or make earrings. I would read tarot with my mum or my friends. I would choreograph hip hop dances for talent quests and school events. I was in my element. After that amazing few years of overdosing on the stuff I loved; I obviously had a void to fill when I entered “the real world”. I wasn’t allowed to do those things anymore because we were conditioned to go to uni, travel the world or get full-time work. What the hell kind of job would allow me to paint sparkles, burn incense and play Missy Elliot while I popped and locked eating hot chips? Yeah. Dream on girl. Enter downward spiral.

My point is – I’m slowly coming back to that now. That place where “work” didn’t really exist, and life was all about creating, playing, exploring and learning. So essentially, my body has just falling into line of it’s own truth, as I have consciously decided to align with mine by working hard in mind and spirit.

It’s not easy though; I’m not saying to just start being spiritual and you will be skinny. No way. It’s about just doing things more out of love, being true to yourself and not doing things because “you have to” – who the f@$k says?! You don’t have to be anything you don’t want to be; you just have to accept yourself and then decide to want to be the real you.

Carrying excess weight for me was a security blanket; sheltering me from the big bad world of my dreams. Element, by element – I have taken off layers on my own aura (spirit), off my own conditioning (mind) and thus, my own weight (body). I busted about a million fears over the past 12 months, and every time another one disappears, I drop a KG or two.

Like I said, I have no idea if this is a real ‘thing’ – but this is what I believe about my own journey. Pretty cool, huh?

If I can tell you one thing though – is that this feels so bloody fantastic. To wake up and not feel like crap, to not let other peoples sadness penetrate me the way it used to; to look in the mirror and my weight not even cross my mind in the slightest; to now have the problem that I don’t fit into any of my old clothes and I want to?! To just do almost anything because it just feels right. Eat that chocolate if it feels right; make a smoothie if it feels right. Don’t juice for a month, if it feels right. Hell to the yeah. This is what a ‘diet’ should feel like. Like I have done nothing but follow my intuition. My bliss.

By no means do I think I’m perfect; but I’m definitely close to the perfect me. The kind of person I would admire – the one who doesn’t follow the latest diet fads, doesn’t pop pills to numb the pain, the one who knows what she wants, and gets it. The one who doesn’t do it if she doesn’t like it. The person who didn’t have weight goals, didn’t want to be a certain size or shape or colour or want to be any celebrity, but just wanted to feel like they were their true self, whatever that may be.

There are still things I do that I am not proud of or don’t follow my intuition, but I am very aware of them. I accept them. I know that about myself, and I forgive myself. I know what needs to be done, and I will do them in an organic way.

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I want you to do a bit of thinking, about the time in your life you felt most ‘at home’ within yourself. When were you the most happy? what did your body look like? how did you feel? perhaps the secret to your weight is locked up in that place. What were you doing then that you aren’t doing now? Maybe its time to bring her back, you never know what might happen in the other parts of your world.

Or, on the other hand – where are you denying yourself in life? food restrictions? too much thrashing of your body? not following your dreams? not thinking for yourself? Maybe in there lies the clue to your weight issues, too.

Love, light & 15kg of fear busting

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To anyone who has lost someone. A dedication to Jess Ainscough

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This post is dedicated to my dad Bruce, Jess’ mum Sharyn and all the beautiful souls who have now left their bodies and minds to rest.

Jess, I want to take this opportunity to give my thanks to you for being so brave, inspiring and courageous. To lose your mum is one thing, but to have it happen as a public figure, in the health and wellness industry is another. I want you to know that we all hear what isn’t being said. We, at the end of the day – all want what is best for ourselves, and our families. I have heard you speak your truth in person, and I felt your soul. I don’t see you as anything other than a woman living her truth. As was your mum, I’m positive. This blog post is for you because I just felt the need to share it with you. Deep down I felt you needed to read this message. So, here it is, for you, and anyone else who is struggling with a physical loss.

The end of October saw 5 years past the death of my father, Bruce.

I have blogged about this before and sorry to anyone who finds it hard (or annoying) to hear me write about him time and time again, but for anyone who has lost someone they love, you would understand that everyone grieves in different ways, and although each day is another day after their death, it doesn’t mean the loss goes further away, too.

Last month, I saw that Jess Ainscough publicly announced that she too has suffered a loss recently. Jess lost her dear mother to breast cancer.

The Big ‘c bomb’ is a hell of a dis-ease; and whilst majority of sufferers fight like hell to survive it, sometimes the bomb just detonates. It seems unfair, unwarranted and just plain unjustified some times. We have all been affected by it in some way, no?

On the 5th anniversary of my fathers death I wrote a Facebook status to him thanking him for my gift of life, but also thanking him for giving my brother and I the gift of awareness, to which he passed onto us as his soul left his body, unbeknownst to us at the time. It could be, that perhaps in hindsight, one of his purposes’ in life was to give us this gift.

It took me a while to accept this, but he knew he was going to die that day. He knew his soul was ready to move on. As hard as that is to acknowledge, I now know that he was ready to go, and had made peace with that fact, that day. He even told me he was….he actually said to me “i’m going to die”…. I just did the whole “don’t be stupid, your fine!” thing. I didn’t know how profoundly he was speaking, that day – that he knew his soul was ready to go.

A fortnight ago, I had (funnily enough) been reading a chapter in my favourite book ‘Conversations with God’ about death. It’s like the final piece of the puzzle for me, and now I feel I’m at complete peace with the lose of my dad and I want to share this with anyone who has lost someone they love. To tell you some things to help you feel more accepting of the circumstances around this loss.

I used to think I feared death, like most of us understandably would. After seeing it from this point of view, I feel more comforted believing that all of us die how our soul intends, and it is only the fact that modern medicine has taught us to fear it because it means you failed at healing, you failed at surviving or failed at living right – that we harbour such fear. This then feeds into our loved ones, who see dying as a massive disaster, sheer despair and disbelief. Great loss. What could we have done to help? Were we providing enough support? What if we had tried this or that method, would they still be here today? I have had these exact thoughts for years. Now I see it differently, and know that he went exactly the way his soul had intended. His body had served his souls purpose. Nothing was going to save him, because his soul didn’t need to be saved. ” Only to the soul is death a relief – a release”.

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Some excerpts from the book that I would love to share:

The greatest gift you can give the dying is to let them die in peace – not think they must “hang on” or continue to suffer. so this is very often what has happened in the case of the man who says he’s going to live, believe’s he’s going to live, even prays to live: that at the soul level, he has “changed his mind”. It is time now to drop the body to free the soul for other pursuits. When the soul makes this decision, nothing the body does can change it. Nothing the mind thinks can alter it. It is at the moment of death that we learn who, in the body-mind-soul triumvirate, is running things. All your life you think you are your body. Some of the time you think you are your mind. It is at the time of your death that you find out who you really are.

There are times when the body and mind are just not listening to the soul, this too creates the scenario of when seemingly healthy, fighting, strong people still pass on. The most difficult thing for people to do is hear their own soul. It happens often that the soul makes a decision that it is time to leave the body. The body and the mind (servants to the soul) – hear this, and the process of extrication begins. Yet the mind (ego) doesn’t want to accept. after all, this is the end of its existence. So it instructs the body to resist death. This the body does gladly, since it too does not want to die. The body and mind (ego) receive great encouragement, great praise from the outside world – the world of its creation. So the strategy is confirmed. 

At this point, everything depends on how badly the soul wants to leave. If there is no great urgency here, the soul may say “Alright, you win. I’ll stick around with you a little longer”. But if the soul is very clear that staying does not serve its higher agenda – that there is no further way it can evolve through this body – the soul is going to leave, and nothing will stop it – nor should anything try to.

The soul is very clear that its purpose is evolution. That is its sole purpose, and soul purpose. It is not concerned with the achievements of the body or the development of the mind, these are meaningless to the soul. The soul is also clear that there is no great tragedy involved in leaving the body, in many ways, the tragedy is being in the body. 

Neale Donald Walsch, Conversations with God.

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I now see that each of us – within our souls – already know when our time will be up. We all leave our bodies behind at exactly the right time. I know that is a really hard concept to grasp. I’m still trying to grasp it myself. It’s a huge topic of discussion, but this has helped me to understand why things happen, terrible, devastating, awful things. It also helps the ones who are “left behind” to feel more at peace, which in turn helps them to heal and continue their own souls purpose.

My dads soul has taught me to connect with mine, to listen, to understand and to ask those crazy questions. My dad’s soul left his body because it no longer served him in this life. It learnt what it needed, achieved what it wanted and learnt all it needed to know. It’s now moved onto the next, and I for one am so excited for my dads next soul adventure!

Ever since he passed, I’ve noticed a particular bird species – the Willie Wagtail around me all the time. They have followed me from Sydney, to Brisbane and now Townsville. I don’t know why, but since dad passed over I always thought as soon as I saw one that they remind me of him. Their is usually only one or two, and they wave their little tails around at me, dancing around in the grass or low in the bushes – as if to say ‘ hi darling! I’m having such fun again’ they are cheeky, extroverted and always put a smile on my face. I feel this is my dads spirit having a dance, having a laugh and seeing the cheer again, and helping me to remember to always do the same. He was always such a boisterous man, he had an infectious laugh. I mean, look at this fella? doesn’t he just look like such a character?!

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I stumbled upon another blog post that the True Activist Facebook page posted about a palliative nurses’ reflection on the 5 most common regrets the people in her care had told her. I would like to share this, because I feel it works well back into my above story, regarding how at the end, we all truly know what we want, we know our spirit, its just that a lot of us don’t listen, because we do everything for everyone else, first. The top 5 comments made were:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

You can find the full article here.

These have really hit home to me. Right now, I’m in my late 20’s – I have so much life to look forward to. I feel a sense of comfort in knowing I will not have these same regrets that these beautiful soul’s did on their final days in their physical bodies. I thank them for giving us the gift of being able to connect with our inner most desires, NOW. TODAY. We all have this precious gift, we just have to listen, and then live it.

I’m sure if my dad was here today (and Jess’ mum too) that they would tell us that we are both exactly where we need to be, and that we will always be ok. After all, we have some pretty amazing angels watching over us now.

To anyone who has lost someone, I hope this has helped you the way it helped me. And maybe, JUST maybe this was a message from them to you that you were waiting to receive.

Love, light & soul journeys,

Sarah xox

The little hater in all of us

The lessons are coming thick and fast. After acknowledging and dealing with my social media addiction, forgiving myself for being selfish and for giving myself a pat on the back for continuing to ‘put myself out there’ – has seen the universe giving me my ultimate test before I become the official ‘me’ in my launch next month.

Over the last few weeks, as previously written, I had been sending myself self sabotage messages. What if no one gets it? What if no one likes me? What if they think I’m a phoney etc etc. along side this negative  inner dialog, I had also been asking for the universe to send me my first hater. I had constant thoughts about someone commenting something negative on one of my blog posts, on my Instagram or Facebook page. I wasn’t sure when the day would come when I would check my phone and see someone questioning my authenticity, my beliefs or anything in between. That one person who vocalises what I fear the most. The first one to criticise the ‘new’ me. Not behind my back, which I’m sure goes on, but to me directly – so I have to face my fear. I have seen these haters all around me, I have watched small businesses grow, and have watched their pool of followers turn from die hard supporters to then attracting a growing group of haters or trolls. It’s part and parcel of the keyboard warrior world we currently live in. Even the most influential, amazingly inspiring people still get haters. And let me tell you, that hater usually says a lot more about them than the target themselves, that’s pretty obvious. But what if I were to spin that theory on its head, and say – perhaps the target should take equal ownership of whatever is sent their way, good or bad? We attract what we fear.

 Well. Ask and you shall recieve, right?!

  

Now, before I go into breaking this one down, I will give you a bit of background as to this message from this man I have dubbed as my ‘shadow angel Graeme’ – I don’t know this person, he does not know me. I have never spoken to him in my life. This was his very first (and last) contact with me. Turns out, he is (very) extended family to me, but that’s irrelevant. A beautiful family member of mine shared my blog with her loved ones, and I am extremely grateful that she did. She has given my shadow self a chance to send me one final test before I take on my new chapter 100%. I guess I have to make sure I’m prepared, I’m authentic and that I want this bad enough, right?

 I must admit, if Graeme had have said this to me a few years ago, I certainly would not have reacted the way I have now. Yes, initially my thoughts were ‘ who the hell is this guy?!? Who do you think you are!!!’ But within seconds I consciously decided to truly listen. Back in the day I would probably have internet stalked him, made all sorts of horrible judgements about him, and most likely taken his bait and gone to town on it, turning it into a full blown internet sword fight right on my public forum for everyone to watch and eat popcorn to. But, as I have learnt, we must always pick our battles, and this one, well, this was no public battle. This one may as well been typed by my own hands. After all, he, is a type of shadow friend in my life. He has exposed my weakness to myself, although now I can safely say I don’t feel is as weak as I had believed. This was just one last internal battle I had to hash out with myself, once and for all.

 My shadow angel Graeme has jested that I simply must be joking, how can anyone speak the way I do, about life, about spirituality, about whatever else I choose??!!  How dare I choose to step out of the box, take a different path, question what I have been led to believe all those years? Surely it’s all crap???Surely, anyone who questions the norm, finds messages in the mundain must be crazy? Or worse, making it up?!! Check mate, shadow self. Check mate. I see what you did there. I see your last ditch attempt to stop me short of living my dreams. Of letting my fear get the better of me. I see you as a representation of all those people who are too scared to listen to their own spirit, the one who screams to be heard amongst a sea of other screaming souls. I see you as the big corporations, pounding lie after lie deep down into our skulls until we are numb to the pain, I see you for what you truly are – the greed, the control, the deceit, the bullying, the one who has no light to shine. I see you, I acknowledge you, and I thank you. I am grateful for this lesson. I am glad you gave me a chance to deal with this fear, now. What a perfectly timed gift, as usual.

 And when given a chance to explain yourself, shadow self – you retreat to a childish retaliation of ‘get real’. You see, shadow self, this was the confirmation I needed to know I truly am doing something right. You have come to me with no new information, no new constructive critism to take on board. No light to expose anything new, or different. You have told me to ‘get real’ – and I ask, what is real? Surely every single individual life form on this planet, has their own version of what real is, therefore, how on earth could I know how to get anyone else’s kind of ‘realness’? And further more, why would I want anyone else’s ‘realness’? I have created my own reality. This IS my real. It is different to everyone else’s, we are all unique. That is what makes life so special. I do see now that my shadow self/former self was far too hung up on what she thought was meant to be a socially acceptable real. The one where everyone makes life decisions based on what other people would like to see you do, or what would make you seem to fit in more.

 It is sad that my shadow self felt it needed to make a last ditch attempt at sucking me back into a place where I don’t feel individual, where I felt I was just another number. Just another rat in the race. I do understand why I was given this message, though. It has confirmed to me my passion for finding and speaking my own truth. I have realised that Graeme – or as I can now see reads more like ‘Grae ME’ aka ‘grey me’ is the me that is scared, the me that lives in the grey area of life – the me that isn’t clear headed, that lived in the fog all those years. Thankfully, I have chosen my life in full colour now, one where my eyes see everything clearly, and my intuition now shines a bright light upon the messages I need to see. I don’t even wear my glasses anymore! I haven’t worn them in weeks and I don’t know why. I’m sure my eye sight hasn’t changed, (according to an optometrist) but something inside me just said ‘ditch the specs, four eyes’ and I just did. So you see (pun intended), I’ve created my new reality. Yes, there will always be grey areas in life, but that’s the mystery to unfold. As long as I continue to come out of the grey and back onto my rainbow, riding a freakin’ unicorn, I’ll be ok.

 FYI I did get real. I’m so real right now that my life is unreal. My relationships are all where I want them to be, I fall more in love with my beautiful child more and more each day, I’m really happy with my body weight and overall health, my lifestyle and diet choices are going from strength tostrength, I don’t wake up of a morning and instantly think negative thoughts about my day (which I always used to do when I worked full time in fashion) – so yes, absolutely – that’s not real at all, grey me, that is bloody unreal! I don’t care if anyone thinks my words are all a big load of bullshit – at least I’m taking the time to get to know my real self, and to shape a new reality that I can look back on one day and be proud and say that I truly made a difference where it counted, that I changed lives, that I lived my truth and that I had a life full of happiness, and I lived on my terms only. I would much rather sit pretty on this load of crap, than the one I previously compiled from everyone else’s reality – and man; that was a steaming load of crap indeed!

So, as ‘grey me’ has helped me to question – what is real? How do you get it? What makes up your reality? Is it a reflection of the real you? Or is it more a reality from someone else that doesn’t nessissarily reflect the real you, inside? Looking back; I know now that the life I had before I had my son was not the reality I would have chosen for myself, had I listened to my spirit sooner… But it was important that I did everything I did, in order to be in the place I am, mind/body/soul right now.

When you live one reality, but dream of another – you are not real-ly you. Taking the time to piece together what it was that I really wanted in my reality (real-i-ty aka tie myself to what’s real) saved me. So what if my reality is that I blog about listening to little voices, that I value harmony more than drama, I no longer want to be judgemental or bitter, my family will always come first or that I believe in self care and the power of the human mind, body and soul and not the man in a white coat with the scalpel. Does that mean you have to believe those things too, in order to be real?! Hell no! But I do believe that if you know one thing to be true and right for you, but you don’t listen and you just dumb yourself down in order to please others, than you lose. Every time. I choose to just do me. To win at being me. That’s the most real I can get.

 Love, light and gratitude to grey me,

 Sarah xox

To me, love from me.

This week I have felt considerably more ‘weak’ emotionally. Could possibly be the fact that I’ve spent over 3 weeks (minus a weekend visit) on my own raising our son in a new town, been unpacking and trying to set up our house on my own, cook, clean, look after a sick dog, we have had no Internet connection for a month and only got it set up today (happy dance) and I’m just a little bit over it all, really. Mumma needs a break. *cue violins*

I have been left alone with my own company for far too long, and I’m well and truly over listening to the crap that streams through my head every moment, of every day. The last few days I have noticed alot more negative internal dialog going on. I don’t usually have much, but when I do, I can be a real bitch to myself. Too much ‘me’ time has led me to hosting my own little pity party up in here… No body loves me, no body is talking to me, no body cares how I am, no body cares about what I do for them, blah blah blah. Then it’s – get over yourself, your not better than anyone else, you are getting no where, your a fraud etc etc. really horrible stuff, right? I don’t particularly dwell on the words, they just pass through at moments of weakness. It’s like my aura is a bit damaged from a few less than desirable situations occurring, so the negative energy knows when to strike. Like a bird of prey. Self sabotage is a bitch. It’s something we all deal with, we are our own biggest critics. You think you look fat, when others think you are glowing and wow your hair style really suits you. It’s alot easier to truly ‘hear’ the negatives than to hear the positives. We all get compliments all the time, but they are never enough. Why? Because you don’t believe them yourself. If your internal dialog is negative, that’s all you pick up – like attracts like, or in this case, dislike.

So I’ve decided to take a stand before I manifest a migraine or a burnt hand or a fight with a loved one. I’ve written myself a letter of love. If I have felt unappreciated, unloved then yes, that’s what I am I guess. So I’m going to change it myself, I can’t expect others to do that for me, to help me to flip the script on my internal dialog and bring back the love. I’m my own biggest fan, after all. Love will attract love, so I’m positive that this self indulgent task might infact bring some more love into my life…here’s hoping!
I’m going to share it with you so it’s out there – I’m not going to be modest and coy, I’m just going to put the love for myself out there.
Dear Sarah,
 
I want you to know just how truly amazing you are. I’ve watch you blossom from a social little chameleon to a fully aware, inspiring and powerful woman and mother wolf. Your abilities to adapt in environments that others would never survive, is a remarkable trait which also showcases your true souls purpose. Something you yourself would never have thought you could ever handle, yet you have far exceeded your own expectations on all levels.
 
Even though you sometimes feel lost, overwhelmed or unloved, always know that you have so much love around you, you must always remember to actually see it. This love will always show you the way. Your white light shines bright over your path, trust that it will always guide you in the right direction.
 
I ask that you please slow down, breath and enjoy the life you have created. You have a beautiful son who worships you, a family who will always be there for you and loves you unconditionally, a partner who loves and supports everything you do and a network of amazing friends and beyond who need you in their lives, for you are what helps to make them whole, as they do for you.
 
Take the time to celebrate what you have achieved and always remember the best is yet to come. You are an inspiring soul, beautiful inside and out and loved by all who take the time to understand you. 
 
Thank you for always wanting to improve your life and the lives of others, thank you for the time and energy you spend in working towards the things you truly believe in, thank you for providing such a nurturing, natural and positive environment in which your children can grow. Thank you for sacrificing your time and energy and abilities to earn an income in order to raise another beautiful soul like your own.
 
Continue to share your love and passion and only love and passion will follow. Everything you do comes straight from the heart, which is something I really admire in you. Keep on sowing your seeds, and watch your beautiful harvest flourish. Your abilities to learn, grow and move forward from both negative and positive situations and always remain grounded is beautiful gift. Cherish it.
 
You are doing an amazing job and I am extremely proud of you. If it wasn’t for you, a lot of people wouldn’t exist in the way that they do now.
 
Your biggest fan,
Sarah xox
So there. It’s out there. I’m loving myself sick. So what.
I feel better already!
Feeling unloved and a bit down? Maybe it’s time you did the same for yourself? You might get some more love back in return… AND you don’t have to blog about it, it’s your own little secret 😉
Love, light and letters
Sarah xox

The balance of East and West

Recently when I was in my super moon rampage, I was doing a lot of reading about mind/body/soul connections and how everything is linked. It’s had me thinking a lot about the human race, and where we stand in regards to living our lives as our truest self. Deep, I know.

I guess I’d consider myself as one of the ‘minority’ on a lot of my beliefs. It’s not easy to break away from mainstream thinking and certainly takes a lot of un-learning of things, but I must admit it is so much sunnier here on the ‘other side!’. I have found my truth, which has really helped me to understand myself, my soul and the world I live in much better.
I have a really keen interest in medicine at the moment. I have been educating myself on ‘self care’ and healing with foods. Something we are not taught from birth, that’s for sure! I mean, we all know a few of these – foods high in vitamin C are good for colds, ginger helps settle your stomach and cranberry juice is good for bladder infections… But this goes much deeper, something that eastern medicine has always practiced and embraced,where as us westerners have decided to embrace a whole other practice (industry) – modern medicine. We are now working against nature, so much so that diseases caused by lifestyle choices are on the rise at an alarming rate.
 Where we once would have eaten 5 oranges at the sign of a cold, we now are pushed to just nibble on some vitamin tablets. instead of learning the foods that omega 3 is found, here’s a simpler way! Just swallow 2 super krill red power oil capsules which have 5000 times more omega 3’s than any food can provide you, and take them everyday for the rest of your life! Why the hell are we eating krill anyway?! Leave that shit for the whales.
Every time I see a freakin’ vitamin ad on TV, I die a little inside. Why do you think these companies need ads for   vitamins,supplements, panadol, meat, dairy?!? To sell them -they are just products! The health food industry is worth billions,the pharmaceutical companies are worth trillions. They don’t actually care about YOUR health and well being. The media and advertising industry is an absolute joke. If anyone truely cared for human health and wellbeing, we wouldn’t see KFC sponsoring football teams or ads for McDonald’s new potato wedges on in prime time. It really grinds my gears when I see ads for fast food on huge sporting time slots, and then they are all wearing a pink jersey to raise awareness for breast cancer. Do we not see the connection?
We’ve all heard this to death – ‘you are what you eat’ – that is because its true. Fast ‘foods’ are full of hormone injected, genetically modified, bottom of the line, high salt, high sugar, high processed carb crap. It’s been through so many processes, it shouldn’t even be classed as food! It is a food-like substance! Don’t even get me started about the animal welfare either.
Anyway, I digress. What I’m trying to say is that I feel we are out of balance. A bunch of oxymorons (thats for you Karen). Western culture is focused on the treatment of the body. Something breaks, we fix it. Something is off balance, we take a pill to rebalance but then that just masks the cause, or creates another reason to become more off balance. Anti-biotic means ‘against life’. I believe that the more antibiotics you take, the more you are at risk of taking the life out of yourself. It’s in the name. If you must take them, learn how to counter-act the damage it causes. This is where pro-biotics are helpful. Keep it a level playing field. I cannot say how empowering it is to learn more about why we do the things we do, and not surprisingly, a lot of the time things don’t really add up.
Why don’t doctors learn much about nutrition? This is a major concern for me, now knowing what I do and can’t actually believe that they still don’t cover much about nutrition in medical school (so I have heard). It is becoming more and more apparent these days at the massive disconnect there has been between diet, mental and spiritual health. Thankfully, there is an increasing number of amazing people who are unlearning what they were taught as children and taking their lives into their own hands. Ain’t no body got your back more than yourself! Jess Ainscough is one of those people – she chose to heal her rare ‘incurable’ cancer by embracing natural therapy after a failed medical road. She completely cured herself of her cancer, and is so spiritually and physically awakened its so inspiring! I might do another blog going into some more amazing people like Jess ‘ stories so you can see what I’m getting at.
Eastern medicine is more focused on healing the soul. Acupuncture, meditation, sound therapy, aromatherapy, naturopathy etc all embraces the nurturing of our souls, and with that the body should follow.
The soul is what makes us, us. It is where we find our dreams, aspirations, intentions, decisions, fascinations and beyond. It is what makes us all unique. Our body is the vessel in which our soul rides in.
Too much focus on healing the physical body means you are disconnected from your soul. You are not healing it. If you are stressed and sick, your soul is weak because you haven’t been listening. It sends the weakness message to your body, and that is where the physical cracks start to show. I have realised that in order to heal your physical body of an aliment, you need to also extend your focus into your soul and spiritual body too. Emotions play a huge role on your physical self. As does your physical self play a similar role on your soul.
For example – you are overweight, you don’t like yourself, your inner dialog is negative towards yourself, you feel nothing but sadness and hate, which then goes back out to the physical body and shows up again – drug or alcohol or food abuse, cronic disease, cancer etc. it’s all connected. On the other side, you start treating your physical body better, you start to see yourself more positively, your inner dialog is loving towards yourself and other amazing things start to happen in the physical world – you attract more positive energy – a new love, new job, healthier complexion and other physical ailments begin to heal themselves as well.
I have noticed this first hand with my own body. I have gone from disliking myself, eating badly, not leading the life I wanted to, to finally listening to my souls urges for change – going vegetarian, introducing new foods, cleaning up my diet, which saw me looking at myself in a more positive light and now more than 10 kgs down and since having a baby, feel like an absolute warrior woman and am so blessed to have this vessel in which has created something so perfect all on its own. I no longer focus my energy on the negative parts of my body, instead have nurtured both my body and soul, through healing foods, beautiful natural foods – and soul cleansing practices like meditation, yoga and just even listening to music again. You don’t have to be a raging hippy. It’s not about that. I’m far from done in my transformation too. Take the stereotypes off the eastern practices and embrace them. They do just as much healing, if not more, than any doctor could.
It’s all about listening. I know you hear it, but are you listening? Second guess everything. Trust no one but yourself. You hold the answers to all your own health issues. Why do you feel the way you do? What could you do to fix it? Think outside what you know. What feels right? what does your body and soul lack? Follow the thoughts and see where they take you.
The key to remember is balance. If something is off balance – either body or soul, try to pin point what you can do yourself to even it back out. Obviously, if you are in a car accident and break you leg in 3 places, you need medical attention. You need to repair your physical self. You also need to keep a positive mindset in order to accelerate your physical healing too. Don’t ever let a physical issue defeat your mental and spiritual self too. If you are feeling emotional, don’t eat the whole chocolate bar and then call yourself a fatty! Think about why? Have a cry. Have a bath. Play some soothing music. Go for a walk in nature.Treat your soul. Get that balance back. Deal with those emotions, accept them and move forward.
(Sorry that that turned into a bit of a random rant in the middle there, as a scanner my brain sometimes enjoys discussing a million topics all at once.)
Love, light and whale food
Sarah xox

Breaking old habits

As some of you know, I’m currently doing my best to overhaul the way I live. Breaking the 27 years of old habits which I have reflected on, and feel are doing more harm than good. This is not an easy process, I have good days, and bad. I know a lot of people who have reached around the same point and age of their lives and realised we are no longer as young, carefree and resilient as we once were. Nor are we as stupid. The days of weekend benders on alcapops, 2 packets of benson and hedges ‘subtle’ chain smoked, the taxi home via maccas feast at 3am, followed by the huge KFC hung over feed at lunchtime the next day. Each work day I would usually buy my lunch, processed carbs (usually a fair few hot chips) and soft drink consumed most days. I was lucky if I ate a salad once a month. I was also popping panadol almost daily due to constant headaches and had severe migraines monlthy for years. Just the thought of that actually makes me feel sick. This abuse happened for years! YEARS! Gosh I have some work to undo.

Party. Party. Party. Repeat.

As mentioned in my first blog post, becoming vegetarian I guess has set the pace for me with my health transformation. I am so passionate about animal rights and now I actually walk the walk, I had to prove to myself that I could be a good one. A bad vegetarian just makes us all look bad! So since Jan 2011, I’ve made it a personal challenge of mine to transform my health, so I didn’t end up a 50-something with cancer like my father.
I’m certainly not done transforming, I have a lot of things to still change, by looking back to just those last couple of years as a bit of a progress report with myself I can see some great significant changes have occurred. At my heaviest, I would say I was around 80kgs. Not obese, but definitely overweight for my height. (This doesn’t include being pregnant, obviously!). From memory, I was this heavy the year after my dad passed away and I was living on my own alot as my boyfriend was working away in the army. Plenty of emotional and lazy eating going on! Might I also confess at times I had/have been a ‘secret eater’ – doing a sneaky drive thru stop here and there to get my fix. A dirty, dirty habit that I don’t know I have really ever admitted to, until now. Anyway, with the new vegetarian lifestyle, no more softdrink, much less dairy, sugar,alcohol drinking, less fast food and more active lifestyle I begun to retrain myself with foods and I’m now weighing in around 15kgs lighter than my heaviest weight, and that’s not with much exercise going on! (But will note I am still breast feeding on demand which I think has contributed to me burning more calories over the last few months).

I don’t have the best reference photos, but you can definitely tell which Sarah is healthier and happier 😉

During my pregnancy I was petrified that my child would end up like me. I ate next to nothing as a child. I was a picky eater my entire childhood. The only food memories I have are of constantly eating chips, apples, vegemite, bread and junk food etc. We would have spaghetti  bolognese every Sunday night, and I would eat plain pasta with tomato sauce! My parents tried and tried, but nothing would make me add things to my diet. In my teens, high sugar, high processed everything. The only fruit I ate was apple. The only vegetable was potato. The first green thing I added to my diet was lettuce, somewhere in my early teens. I had/have a complex about textures in my mouth. If it has a funny consistency, is ‘bitty’ or just unfamiliar – it wouldn’t even come near me. This haunted me for years… And still does… I would always get told ‘ what happens when a boy want a to take you out on a first date! – you can’t just order chips!’. Ha! As if I cared then? I always knew deep down that I wouldn’t always be like that, but until then I was going to happily eat my chip sandwiches and wash it back with coke. It definitely would take some hard work to break that cycle.
I read somewhere that our taste buds change roughly every 7 years, which makes a lot of sense – and luckily for me, that means a big change at 28 next year will give me another push to extending my food repertoire. So from the age 14-21, was probably my most damaging 7 year stint diet wise, 21-28 has seen a transition from old to new food habits and over those years, I have come a long way. Things that aren’t given much thought by most people, have really helped me to progress with my transformation. I have pushed myself to try at least a few new things every so often, and now alot of them are finally encorporated into my diet. Things like corn on the cob (only started this one about a year ago!), spinach, mushrooms, quinoa, pumpkin, nuts, berries etc have only been introduced into my diet slowly in the last 7 year cycle, and I’m still trying new things when I have the courage. I’m really interested into working out the psychology of this kind of ‘condition’ (if any of my readers can lead me in the right direction on how I can work on this food block – please private message me!)  but glad that I can now finally take more risks with food and to be able to eat like a pretty normal person!

Never thought I could eat something like this!

My new found passion for whole foods is taking me on a bit of a journey regarding healing my past food issues, and not too long ago I researched juice fasting and it’s benefits. When I was pregnant, I bought my first juicer as a good way to finally be able to give my body and my growing baby more nutrients. Some said its a waste of money, they are a bitch to clean (yes, yes they are) and most people go through a juicing phase and then it’s shoved into the back of for cupboard until the next generation digs her out. Not me. Surprisingly, I enjoyed it so much that I was juicing pretty much everyday of my pregnancy and felt simply amazing. I definitely missed it when I didn’t have it, and could feel a huge change in my body. I was glowing on the outside (also because I was cooking a kid) but also could feel my insides screaming ‘what is this?!? Where have you been all my life!!!!’. It’s like liquid gold.
There is definitely a need for everyone to juice at some stage of their lives. This is   not referring to fruit juices we find in the shops. That stuff is by no means healthy….I’m talking fresh fruit and vegetables juiced at home. Yes, the fibre is removed, but all the nutrients are then in liquid form for your cells to absorb without much digestion. Instead of me typing it all out, check out these pics which cover alot of the benefits:

It makes so much sense to me to be able to drink my fruit and vegetables, as I know it’s still an uphill battle for me to want to eat them. Anyway, so back to the juice fasting. I was reading up on it, as fasting is known for its amazing ability to heal the body. Juice and water fasting is curing many illnesses, diseases and improving the health of 1000’s of people. Saving lives.

The idea of fasting (not eating any food for a set period of time) is that our bodies spend a lot of its energy digesting the foods we eat. It is constantly working to break down the last meal you ate. It never gets a chance to do matenence anywhere because we are constantly eating large meals. The amazing thing is that when you take the food out of the equation, what does the body do with all that excess energy? It finds things to do. Your body literally gets an RDO and finds all those odd jobs to do around the home. It flushes all the bad toxins out of your body, it finds blockages, bacteria even parasites and finally gets around to getting rid of them – the body now has the time to dedicate to the things that are no good! This means detox. The body goes through a big spring clean, and you will definitely know about it!
I had to try one. All those years of abuse had to mean I was carrying around some serious crap! I will do another post about my first fast experience over the next few days, it was pretty eye opening. And awesome. Lets just say I’m pretty hooked on the idea and plan to do many more over the years to get my body feeling and performing how it should.
Now with my old habits slowly deminishing, I’m becoming alot clearer in my mind, body and spirit and everything just seems to be falling into place. I can honestly say that it’s like my body was a poisoned, stagnant pond with no sign of life, living life like a sheeple and now the flood gates have opened, flushed out the poisons and there is a full river flowing with little Eco systems growing! Ha! I owe it all to one little movie, (Earthlings) to which I will be eternally greatful. I’m doing this not only for myself, but for my children and for our planet. I was always pretty cold/ emotionless/strong/switched off to alot of sensitive issues throughout the years of my poison diet, but since cleaning up my act my sensitivities have emerged and I am now one of the more compassionate people I know! I don’t have extreme mood swings, I cry when I need to and I let go of alot of the dead emotional and negative weight that used to drag me into alot of controversial situations. I have learnt to be more open minded, less juddemental and to always try and see the positives in all situations.
It’s so amazing to be able to reflect on how emotions and diet are linked. It truly is all connected. As a reflection, I’ve just admitted to some pretty scary truths, right? So come on – what’s your diet secret? What’s your old habit you want to kick or have already kicked? Maybe it’s time to dig a little deeper and see why you do it and come up with a positive way to improve it. Big change won’t happen over night, but one small step could be the catalyst for an amazing transformation.
Love, light and hot chips
Sarah xox